When our first child was born, life really changed.
I thought I was so prepared for everything. I went to school to be a teacher, I babysat, I worked in schools. I was so excited for us to have our own kids and to be their mom. Up to this point, I had spent a lot of time thinking about kids! The reality of parenthood took my breath away, but it was also challenging and even disappointing in many ways. Instead of sharing tender cuddles, sweet naps and cute baby books with my daughter, our time together morphed into arm-numbing long nursing sessions and revolting diaper blowouts. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally got to a place where I felt like I was on top of it. As long as she was clean and fed, I was doing a good job!
Fast forward to toddlerhood. She was busy, exploratory and curious. I felt like the mom in I Love You Forever– take a look at that bathroom scene… that’s my kid! A thought crept in and camped out in the back of my mind… Am I giving her everything that she needs? She was a curious, active, talkative little girl, and I saw a bright future for her. The pressure began to mount. What did I need to provide in these very young years while her brain is a sponge and she is experiencing her most rapid development? What can I do to give her the tools she needs to take on the world? Am I doing enough?
My husband and I spent a lot of time talking about my concerns. We realized that children need simple experiences that saturate their senses and allow them to process their world emotionally and physically. Finally, we came up with two simple questions that have guided me ever since:
“Did you read to her today?”
“Did you take her outside?”
Summed up in these two questions are all the things a young mind needs! Reading out loud to children accelerates language acquisition and phonemic awareness, meaning they will have a more mature grasp on the words you say. This will naturally flow into real conversations and connections between child and parent, opening the floodgates to a whole world of new information. Reading to your child is perhaps the greatest head start you can give them.
While reading provides a window into the world that is framed by the knowledge of others, children must complement this knowledge with things learned firsthand. The outside world provides an endless playground of investigation and natural wonder, not to mention exercise. As children experience the colors, smells, textures and yes, tastes of their world, their brains will start to sort and store it all in a way that helps give meaning to all those books you’ll be reading. On top of the educational benefit, being in nature gives us a sense of wonder and belonging. As reported in an article by CNBC, in 2019 Nature Research published findings that spending 2-5 hours a week outdoors has significant increased health and wellness benefits for all ages.
So it turned out that I didn’t need to worry so much about preparing my daughter for high school, college and beyond. She has an amazing capacity to naturally develop the skills she needs to thrive by hearing me read, and having the time and space to explore. That leaves us with the question: What do kids really need? While we have been in quarantine and stressing about what the next school year will look like, we have all worried about what we and our kids might be missing out on. But do our kids really need to be musical geniuses and win the soccer championship right now? Do they NEED those art and animal summer camps we were all looking forward to? What about the achievement gap? Do they need to study math and write essays all summer? How can we get them caught up for next school year?
We just need to read to them and give them the gift of going outside. Give your kids the time and space to explore and discover, and they will show you that they are so naturally inclined to learn through play. Enjoy allowing them to come up with their own crazy shenanigans, and relax knowing you are giving kids what they really need.
Here’s to a fun, exploratory summer!
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